Of Elves and Girl Scouts

Pre Note:  I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my random and sometimes opinionated blogs.  I feel that the last few months of my life have been consumed by a lot of negativity.  I stopped writing and started a pity party.  While I am EXCEPTIONAL at throwing myself a pity party, I am not a very gracious host nor a very gracious guest of honor.   With that being said,  thank you for listening, reading, and playing along with me.  It means a lot.


A few weeks ago, I was at our local Giant Food store standing in line waiting for a loosing lottery ticket when a very irate woman stormed the counter demanding that the store IMMEDIATLEY remove the Keebler knock off's of the Girl Scout cookies. I had to chuckle because just a few weeks before, my husband came home with a container of Keebler Coconut Dreams acting as if HE had just won that winning lottery. 

In less than 6.9 seconds, both sleeves of cookies were gone and a twinge of guilt crept in.....
Had my moment of Caramel Delights weakness in the form of a really really really good knock off just take away a donation to one of the World's Greatest Organizations????  I suddenly felt a need to call all Girl Scouts that I know and apologize profusely for buying what is clearly an illegal knock off (BUT D@mn they were good).  Even after the next 3 or 4 packages of Coconut Dreams entered my house, not one real moment of remorse rendered me unable to eat them.

It seemed impossible that Keebler could make these cookies without some type of lawsuit coming from the Girl Scouts.  Being naturally curios and a slave to the internet and it's overwhelming amount of information, I did some research.  Turns out that Ernie the Elf is a savvy business man, and saved the girl scouts and their mothers of days gone by from hand making those amazing cookies.  Keebler is the parent company of Little Brownine Bakers, the official manufacturer of Girl Scout cookies.  So the Elves make the Girl Scout cookies in their tree....  Duhhh.

The woman at Giant was certain that Organization would boycott any store selling the knockoffs.  (They are available EVERYWHERE!)  Having been lucky enough to have found the knockoffs, I felt pretty certain that I would buy the Keebler version until I decided to go on yet another diet, and of course, when the girls selling their cookies jutted their tiny little hands with the big box of cookies in them at me, I would buy a different variety.... (BTW, they also make Grasshopper fudge mint cookies.... sorry Girl Scouts, but they are fudgier... and a peanut butter filled cookie that  in my opinion is....eh)

And in-spite of the valid concerns the woman at Giant had about selling the Keebler cookies, I don't really see that the Girl Scouts will suffer when the season rolls around.  While I am thrilled to support the Organization, I buy the cookies because I LIKE COOKIES. Let's be serious, THAT IS WHY THEY SELL THE COOKIES!  And WE KNOW IT, and we are happy to support, but thrilled that we don't have to write a check to show it.  It's much easier to dole out $4.50 a box for the 15 times we walk past a table at a Wal-Mart or Giant then to write a check for $67.50.

As I watched  the kid at the customer service counter blankly stare at the woman, and unable to give her an answer that she really wanted to hear, I just walked away because I have no plans on messing with two of the biggest cookie people in the world, the Girl Scouts and those clever little elves that somehow make amazing cookies in tree factory.  :-)

word of the blog  PANACEA

pan·a·ce·a

 [ pànnə s ə ]   

1. supposed cure-all: a supposed cure for all diseases or problems

 

 

Until we blog again,

 

Vicki

 

 

 

DRESSED TO IMPRESS

This is a random rambling blog..... you should know by know that I don't have a clue how to apologize for my rambling or randomness.....

As most of you should know by now, I am job hunting.  WHOO HOO, job hunting at 47 .....I thought, that if I can, I would apply to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that pops up on the job boards...... I wish I was kidding but I am not when I say that I apply to at the minimum 30 jobs a day.  3/4 of them are through temp. agencies..... me and everyone else.   It is what it is, I'm not complaining, I look at the process as daily challenge. 

So, I applied to a job for a "technical writer"   WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT THIS? NOT A DAMN THING!  Well HELLO job interview....HELLO in the Philly burbs HELLO.... I AM AN IDIOT! 

My drive, 47 miles ON 422.... my drive time...OVER AN HOUR!... MY interview time....25 minutes, my drive home..... I don't want to talk about it.  422.....

I interviewed, (though disappointed to discover that it was yet another Temp agency) I got in my car, I got hungry, I stopped at Arby's in Royersford or somewhere around there.... I ate, too much but the drive gave me thinking time as well as clue as to how well I could hold my bladder on a commute like that with my usual 20 oz. of morning coffee...... let's just say the odds are good that I will be stopping at WAWA daily. Maybe 2x a day once on the way down, once on the way home.  But the drive gave me a lot of thinking time....

Now, I have been dubbed the queen of cardigans..... Target is the WORST place to take me if they are restocking their cardigan table or worse yet, moving them to the sale rack. I'll even buy them if they are too big.... (never too small)  The selections are amazing, and I really NEED one of every color and maybe 2 of the purple ones.  So naturally I had on one of my prized cardigans, It was actually a beautiful blue one that looks like water colors, ( My step-mother picked it out for me for my birthday this past May  too pretty to have come from Target!!!!!)  I had on my black pants, my black ankle boots and (brown) socks....... So I thought I looked professional enough..... I mean I did look professional enough..... until I got home.... and NO, it wasn't the brown socks.....  stay with me.... I got out of my car and  #@!% $#!%.... my shirt UNDER my cardigan was on.... IN SIDE OUT!    

 $#*!


today's word

callipygian  having shapely buttocks 


Until Next time,

Vicki

PREACHY PREACHY PREACHY (no apologies)

I'm in a "controversial religious" mood tonight.  I considered apologizing for what I am about to say, but that wouldn't be right.  Simply because this is my blog.....and .. purple....is my favorite color...

My disclaimer for this blog?  I believe in God.....  that's it... that's my disclaimer....

Recently, some people close to me have asked me a very nerve striking question.  Several people not in any way related to each other who are going through what they consider the suckiest time of their lives...... People who mean the world to me....   the question? 

IF God doesn't give us more than we can handle.... why the HELL is my life falling to shit?  ( I know... I swore in the same sentence that I used God's name....sorry?)
 
How do I answer that? And WHO gave ME the authority to even ANSWER that question?  AND HELLO!!!! all you NON believers out there..... I can hear you say ...."YEA ANYWAY!!! go ahead answer THAT Miss... I believe in GOD but life isn't always fair so explain THAT"

I have asked myself that question more times than I can recall.... I've asked it in my own life.... How can I even believe in God  if my life sucks, if the depression is so great that I can't see past tomorrow, if the pain is so intense that I just cannot bear another day, if  tomorrow NEVER came, would I care?  And WHY...OH WHY ... me...me..me ...me  .....

And when someone asks how you are doing....KNOWING the answer is
NOT GOOD.....Don't you just want to drop kick them when they tell you that "God won't give you more than you can handle!!!"?  REALLY????  MY LIFE JUST FELL TO SHIT and you think THAT STUPID statement will help????  I seriously cannot WAIT to return the statement when YOUR perfect life falls to shit.....Come ON! Did your(           )just die?  Did you just loose your job? ....Did your  house just get foreclosed on.... and on and on and on....

In the last few minutes/days/weeks/months/years.....I have found that I believed that God had punished me in ways that I didn't think was possible of Him....And let me tell you I was pissed off at Him.... I nearly moved on ...I don't know where I was going.... because I still needed something to believe in...but I sure was pissed off at the God I currently believed in....you know because I was mad at Him..... for things out of His control....(makes sense... right?)

Yea, I was moving on from a God that I believed in because He no longer served my purpose...... You know, that guy "in the sky"....the Almighty.... the Creator...blah blah blah.....

And then like a ton of proverbial bricks it hits me..... He HAS given me more than I can handle... but NOT to punish me, but to allow me the opportunity to NOT go the journey of pain and suffering alone..... but to have HIM beside me.  To allow Him to walk beside me.   To PROVE to me that I don't have to do it alone. 

I don't expect God to do the work for me.  I don't expect Him to fix my flaws, solve my problems or even find me a job.  I expect Him to be my "shoulder to cry on"....  "the guiding voice in my head" ( don't go there..... I don't hear voices) 

At this point all of you "non-believers" are like.... "ummmmm Him?....beside you?"  Loony toons....  OK, yes I am loony but stay with me.

Do I really think that My God is the same God as the one my husband, my daughters, my  father, my friend, my neighbor...my GRANDMOTHER believes in?  Of course not!   But why take away our opportunity to have faith in Someone...or Something...if it brings us comfort? 

The one question I get is why did God take my loved one..... and the NON-Comforting answer that "God wanted an Angel" is infuriating.   I don't believe that God "takes" anyone because He wants them.... I believe that God's purpose isn't to interfere with "life" but to comfort us when "life happens".  Death, divorce, poverty...SUCK.  But I don't believe He creates it, I believe he holds us through it.  And when I have to suffer from an unimaginable tragedy, I am certain that I will be pissed off at God for it happening in the first place.  And I pray that one day, I will remember God's purpose.

No one has claimed to have ever "met" God, they just believe in their God because believing helps them, believing holds them, believing comforts them.  Whether you "buy" into the teachings of the bible or not, do you not just want something to believe in?  ( Seriously...stop singing the Poison song..... no really...stop....OK.... keep singing, I know I am) 

If we all just "give it to God" and we fill in the "GOD" with whatever or whoever brings us comfort, then aren't we ALL Believers together?
 
And why is it so bad that we give our pain and suffering to our God?  Who doesn't want to unburden themselves in a time of trouble?  If we gave the burden to a friend or relative, would we really expect them to solve our problems?  NO!  We wouldn't freaking listen to them anyway.... but if we give our troubles to God, we are sharing the burden with someone who won't judge us, won't share our secrets, who won't get mad if we don't "take their advice" Someone who forgives us when even WE cannot forgive ourselves.

In reality, you won't find that EXACT statement "God doesn't give you more than you can handle"  in the bible ... ( for those of you who read it) What you MAY find is...

Deuteronomy 31:6

⁶ “Be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid of them. Don’t be terrified because of them. The Lord your God will go with you. He will never leave you. He’ll never desert you.”

Hebrews 13:5

“I will never leave you.
    I will never desert you.”

 

Philippians 4:13

 

¹³ I can do everything by the power of Christ. He gives me strength.

Perhaps what we REALLY need in order to have some faith in SOMETHING..... is the words of the bible written on inspirational posters WITHOUT reference to the Books of the Bible that they came from.... perhaps we could change the above bible verses to this:

Be strong and brave.  Don't be afraid of them.  Don't be terrified because of them . your FRIEND will go with you in spirit, He will never leave you, He'll never desert you.

I am you friend, I will never leave you
I will never desert you

I can do everything with my FRIEND by my side, He gives me strength.

OK, I'm done, I don't expect you to suddenly "be a believer" (not to be confused with Beliebers ...) in fact, it took me YEARS to remember why I needed to believe in something and or someone,  but I do now.

So when my friends ask me WHY God is giving them more then they can handle, I tell them this,

"He isn't"  He's giving you MORE than you can handle.  So you can STOP trying to fix this yourself and START  giving it to God (friend)




As promised, the word of the blog:

anomalistic deviation or departure from the normal or common order, form, or rule; phenomenal


Until the mood strikes me again,

Vicki

Black dogs can't jump

 “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 
― Marilyn Monroe



Do you recall as young child when you were all dressed up for some fancy occasion and your mother gave you the run down of your expected behavior? You know.....you're in your finest most uncomfortable clothing, on your way to impress some boss or clergy or rich relative (ok...this one never really happens to us normal folks) and your mother lectures you on the do's and don'ts when you arrive at the destination.  As a kid....all you can think of is how miserable you are in your fancy clothes and how much you want to run around be yourself.  When you finally arrive, even your parents are acting like people you don't know.  AND WHY???????  to impress people even THEY don't like?!?!?!


As I move through life hopefully maturing and learning, one of the greatest lessons I have learned is to accept my flaws and always be myself.  Marilyn's words make me think of the many ways people in our lives can put expectations on us to perform a certain way like our well meaning parents did when we were children.  


Disclaimer: I am not referring to academics or sports or activities.  I believe if our children WANT to participate in sports or other activities then they should always do their best.  And of course as parents it is our responsibility to expect our kids to try their hardest in school.


ALSO,  I am NOT referring to immoral behavior.  I'm talking about society's unhealthy need to impress the masses with refined and oppressed personalities,  houses, cars, money, clothes, things etc.


We pile up layers of expectations from others that we collect over the years, and try to live up to nearly everyone of them.  And then when we fall short (of other's expectations).... we are faced with ridicule, gossip and disdain.


When I was a child.... I was always getting in trouble for saying "I don't care"  My grandmother would get so mad at me, but couldn't figure out how to punish me for it, other than to tell me to stop ( she would deny this today, though FREQUENTLY will tell my mother that I "don't care" ).  I wasn't saying " I don't care" because I don't care.... What I was saying was "It's fine" , "I'm comfortable with that" , "I don't need to impress" ,  "I have no opinion on that one way or another" etc.  Even as a young child I knew that accepting my many flaws was a far better way to live than try to impress people who chose to ignore their many flaws.   

As an adult, I have come to realize that I still don't care.  I reflect back on the choices I made in life and very few were based on the unreasonable expectations of the people who were in charge of "molding" me.  I made choices based on the immediate needs and expectations of the people currently in my life who I was responsible for.  IF that appears to fall in the category of " I don't care" then so be it.... I DON'T CARE.   DO NOT misinterpret my "I DON'T care" attitude to mean that in my life I made STUPID choices and don't care. Quite the contrary! Allow me to reitereate that I MADE CHOICES....some BAD for MANY people that I would change if I could, but I did them based on where my life was at the time and the NEEDS of the people I love. 

I live ...9where MOST of you who know me know0,  SMACK in the middle of the SAME BLOCK on the SAME STREET I grew up on.  I have NO intentions of impressing a bunch of people who though I respect immensely, are NOT in charge of my happiness. 

YUPP, our yard and the  outside of our property is somewhat in dissaray, and YUPP, my girls, though beautiful in my eyes can be a true handful, but praise God and knock on wood, have not gotten into any trouble,  and YUPP, our dogs bark.... and OH MY  the dogs....CRAP in my yard.... but I DON'T care!  Bu.t I pick it up...eventually

I am loved by the people who matter the most.  My GIRLS are loved by their parents who have been to their own personal hell and back and survived.  ( JUST LIKE MOST OF YOU...but YOU hide it....act like YOU'RE ALL PERFECT ....like bad stuff ONLY happens to "bad" people)

When I say "I don't care"  What I really mean is, I live by My God, I obey the law, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my husband and kids and family and friends.  I mean I don't care if YOU or ANYONE else thinks I am less than what YOU expect of me....

When I say "I don't care" I mean....SO WHAT if your son/daughter is a drug addict....SO WHAT if the bank foreclosed on your house???? SO WHAT if your cable/phone is shut off....you think you are alone in that predicament????? IF you REALLY knew me, you'd know that I DON'T judge... I DON'T care... the only one who cares is YOU and YOU only care because people YOU don't really care about may talk crap on you.  LET THEM GO!!!!!

When I say "I don't care" I mean YOU go ahead and dress to impress, manicure your toes, your life, your wardrobe, your lawn to the nines, attended church weekly because you think it will get you a one way ticket to heaven, buy your kids expensive clothes, cars and toys, join that country club and make sure you kiss every single ass of every single influential person you know.... If THAT is what makes you happy, I DON'T CARE....because YOUR happiness.... though critical to YOUR life, is only good if YOU are really happy.

So, are you happy?  Or are you just caring because you think it somehow matters?   IF you are exactly where YOU want to be....I am SO DAMN JEALOUS!  IF you are NOT where YOU want to be... take a seat or a number, because we are ALL standing in a line trying make SOMEONE else...responsible for our happiness.... (you get THAT?  YOU are waiting for someone other than YOU to make YOU happy!??????)

Going to see Malorie play soccer and Morgan cheer and/or play soccer make me happy because THEY are happy.... NOT because their participation makes ME or their Dad that much more "popular".... waking up every morning knowing my husband is snoring peacefully aside of me makes me happy,  Having few but precious friends makes me happy, Going to church makes ME and my family happy!  NOT because I give a CRAP about the other people in the church.... NOT caring that my front porch, house or back yard could use a clean up.... well that is part of my genetic make up.... way more important things than .... cleaning!!!....

I am NOT suggesting you "lower your happiness standards"  I am only suggesting that we as a society "care less" about the things that really don't matter and that we "care more" about the things that REALLY keep us going through the day....

Ultimatley, I  DO CARE because I want my place to look nice... BUT I DON'T care ... because I have Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more important things to do... Like a 4 hour kayak ride with friends and family....  99.9% of the time, I DON'T care about my house, yard etc... because I would rather have the experience of kayaking (or whatever REALLY makes you happy) than miss it.... (even though my freaking elbows STILL hurt from that kayak trip!!!!)

I DON'T CARE....

GET it?


Today's word:

Arachibutyrophobia:

 

One having fear about peanut butter sticking to the mouth roof

 

totally legit fear.... just saying...